ill never waste another second, ive wasted so much time.

im extremely tired, so there is a very good chance anything that im about to say may not make a bit of sense, just saying.

i literally want to become heartless. i believe if i stopped caring about everything and everyone id be a lot better off. possibly more lonely, but who knows, it might just be exactly the same. im tired of feeling but at the same time not being able to feel. i think i feel too much of some emotions and not enough of others. but, i think id be better off completely emotionless.

and fucking valentines day, wtf.
i told myself i was going to completely look over it. it wasnt going to matter to me, i had to work, i was just going to treat it as a normal day and let it pass me by, but in the past couple days thats been all thats been on my mind. and how i spent last valentines days (not that it was that great, not to mention it was all fake, but i wasnt alone, it seemed nice at the time, and it was what it was).

i want to watch the wedding singer.
only it has a happy ending, and ive never had one of those.

i feel like punching through something.
i dont think thats healthy.
on that note, im going to sleep!