i hate myself for loving you like this.

i received the greatest news ever today.
april 20th: nfg, verse, bayside, and set your goals.
yeahhhh buddy!


the more and more i think about it, the more i know this has to come to an end. things are only going to get harder. its only going to become more unfair and hurt even more. i deserve better, i really honestly do. i just have a horrible habit of wanting things i cant have. but the thing is i had it, never quite fully, but i did, and ever since ive wanted it back.

when im alone with you, nothing else matters. the entire world fades away and i love that.
but the reality is, the world is still there and im facing that fact.

once again, im going to try terribly hard to make it to church in the morning.
it might help if i went to bed right this second, but we all know that is not going to happen.
it will probably be 4am before i even think about sleep.

ive said too much already.
im out.
goodnight.