be strong when things fall apart.

if i wasnt before, i am officially now a road warrior.
sunday: winchester
tuesday: barbourville to knoxville
wednesday: barbourville to south carolina to campbellsville.

four states in one day on wednesday. now that is wild.

the web gets more and more tangled every day. i keep hoping it will become less and less tangled, but it just doesnt look that way. im not doing anything to help matters either. everything i do makes it worse, but it takes two. sometimes i feel bad about things, but most times i dont. that worries me, in some ways. i feel like im losing losing a lot of moral standards and values i used to cling to. i let one big letdown in my life cause me to give up on so many things. i really think ive been living life in defeat for going on three years now, and that is simply pathetic.

i get the feeling i ramble meaninglessly. oh well.

i want to take up a hobby. i used to make a lot of collages and that was fun. ive thought about doing that again but i feel like doing something new. i thought about painting, but ive never been that good at that. im really interested in origami, mainly because it is something i can do at work when im bored, which is usually my entire my shift. ive always wanted to be at work and make some paper cranes and when a kid comes in who is pissed about being at lowes (which i completely understand because i hated going in lowes as a kid and often wonder how i ended up growing up and working there), i can give them one to play with.

i am too nice. i should be more of a bitch.
i am more bitchy than i used to be, but truth is its all a front.
and most people know that.

nice girls do finish last, don't they steph?
i try to stay hopeful and optimistic.
but sometimes i can't help but face the facts.


im going to sleep.
and hopefully sleeping for 24 hours at least.
we'll see how it goes!
=]