one last kiss for you.

so i went to burger king after work and ordered a rodeo cheeseburger and value fries. they made me a whopper like a rodeo cheeseburger and a small fry. on the wrapper for the burger they drew a smiley face. that made my day.

i saw adam off this morning. it was hard, but not as hard as i thought i would be. i think the hardest part will be in the days to come. in the not going over there to see him, not making nightly runs to walmart, not doing all the things we would get into together everyday. he will forever be my brother, no matter how far apart we are.

im trying to decide if i want to do anything tomorrow night. part of me says no, save my energy for the 1st and 2nd, and the week to come. another part is like yes shella, don't be an old lady get out and do something. im not sure really. i think its going to be a last minute thing really, even though it shouldnt be. if i leave to go somewhere tomorrow night, i need to take things for a few days because if i can help it i wont be back in campbellsville until i have to be at work on saturday. idk though, really.

im not making it a new years resolution, but i need to start exercising again. its not that i really want to lose anymore weight, its that i want to keep what i've lost off. and its not that i care what size i am really, its that i have to for my health. now that i dont have health insurance, i cant afford to go though all those problems with my brain again, and if i put the weight back on, all the problems with my brain will come back. good reason to not be a fat ass i guess lol.

im listening to bayside acoustic, but im completely emotionless, and im glad for that.
if i can/could keep my emotions at bay for oh... a good while, ill be doing just fine.
maybe i could think more clearly and make some wise decisions if my stupid heart didn't get in the way.

steph, if you read this, know that im really hoping/planning to hang soon. if you can, you should come out to the show in winchester on the 4th. im going to be there and it's going to be fun. and be safe on new years doing whatever you may do =]

eric, if you read this, so many things i could/would/but wont say so... see you thursday!